Friday, Aug. 01, 2003 - 8:28 a.m.

My husband and I recently purchased cling window coverings for a couple of windows flanking the fireplace. They look like stain glass windows. The depth of colors changes with the light and yesterday I noticed the colors being reflected on the walls as the sun streamed through the window. I noticed the colors being reflected onto the prisms in a glass on the window sill.

The change to the room is incredible. As my husband told me last night the room is more serene.

In my own life there are reflections. A friend told me I am admirable the way I have been handling everything associated with Alzheimer. She told me that I have given her courage to face difficulties in her own life with beauty and grace.

I notice things these days which I have never noticed before. The beauty of spider webs glistening in the sun with their silver silken threads. I do not have the heart to destroy them so they remain until the wind or rain blows them away. I notice the way light plays. I notice shadows and see pictures painted. Masterpieces for only a short time.

I look at life from a different perspective. What the future holds is not important. The only important thing is this moment now.

It is not important whether my husband knows what month or what season it is. All that is important is spending the moment with him.

A fact which I have to continually remind myself of during the moments I am frustrated. By no means am I a Saint.

Remembering why I love him and savoring the moments with him my life is richer than anything I could ever imagine. Beautiful, jewel colors radiate everywhere.

Sometimes I wonder if he did not have Alzheimers would I savor the moments the way I do now. I wonder if I would continue to squander moments with petty thoughts.

I know that slowly I am losing parts of the man I love. Yet, I can honestly say that I am also gaining beautiful parts of him as he becomes more childlike.

These days sometimes he points things out to me that I might otherwise have missed. He points out to me the picture in a rock or the clouds. Often he shows me the transient masterpieces and together we marvel at all the wonder in the world.

Reflections swirl around and life is serene and full of joy.

Alzheimer is a disease...not death. Bringing changes and a new dimension to our relationship. Beautiful colors reflected in our love as the sun shines bright.

previous - next

Spring...The Renewal Of Life - Monday, Mar. 21, 2005
In Shock - Wednesday, Feb. 02, 2005
Life Goes On - Monday, Dec. 27, 2004
If I Could Have Any Wish - Sunday, Oct. 24, 2004
Sense of Humor And Lots Of Patience - Tuesday, Jul. 13, 2004

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